According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
