Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
