if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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