His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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