So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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