Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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