I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
