Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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