I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
