your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
