You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
