nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
