New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize