I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
