Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
