The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize