I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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