I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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