i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
