the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm always down for nudity.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
