if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
