Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
