Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
