I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
