You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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