I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize