when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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