Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
