dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
