...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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