was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he was CRYING into my vagina
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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