The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
