dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
