i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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