I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
