I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
