1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
