Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
