peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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