His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
