i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize