8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
