this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dear god my vagina.
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