either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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