god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
