pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
