You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize