This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i came on her dog
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
