spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
