3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
