i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
