'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize