Got a toothbrush?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i barfeds in our rink
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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