I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You dont lie about slip and slides
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize