Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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