VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
