i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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