I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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