My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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