No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
