Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
