Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
