question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
