Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
