I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
