Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
