and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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