I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
