I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
