That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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