Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
