so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The uberlube is also flammable
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
